Nothing in my life has been an accident.
When my daughter was about 7 years old and her brain disorder was developing, I had a recurring dream – a nightmare really! In the dream, her face was divided down the middle, one side pitch black – the other brilliant white. Night after night, I jumped up in my bed, startled by the dream. This went on for years, up until the time Tammy was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
After she was grown, she kept encouraging me to write a book about our story. She wanted other people to know they were not alone in their fight against mental illness. She wanted people to know there was hope in the midst of storms. We discussed the name of the book and the book’s cover. I reminded her of the nightmare I kept experiencing when she was younger. “Mom,” she said, I think the cover of the book should be like my face in your dream.”
I tucked her suggestion in one of the latent files of my mind and started writing the book. For 20 years, I wrote on and off, mostly to express my deep emotions and to seek healing from all the trauma we had gone through. However, it seemed I would never quite reach an ending for our story.
Tammy died in 2009 and everything changed. For an entire year, I did not write one single word. However, one year almost to the day after her death, I decided it was time to stop grieving and get busy on the book my daughter so strongly wanted me to write.
When it came time to design a cover for the book, I told my cover designer at CrossBooks Publishing about my nightmare from years earlier. She came up with a modified version of the face I had seen in my nightmare for the cover of the book.
I believe in a loving God, who works out everything that happens to me for my good. That means everything that occurs in my life has either been arranged, allowed, or appointed by Him. He arranged for the cover of my book, long before I even thought of writing it. He is the Master Designer!
Dorothy Ruppert, Author of “God Placed Her in My Path – Lessons Learned from the Furnace of Bipolar Disorder.”